if The last 10+ years for me have been all about this:
- How can I learn to use my triggers for growth?
- How can I see the places where I am letting my emotions control me, rather than learning to soothe myself and ask for support?
It has made a world of difference to go on this emotional maturity journey, and I feel so proud of that little girl who is always with me, and is always willing to learn and embody healthy self and co regulation.
I was recently really inspired by Dr.Nicole LePera’s beautiful post on this topic and I totally agree with her statement:
“The beautiful part is that we can all develop emotional maturity. We can learn to respond in new ways, learn to place boundaries, and understand it is not our role to caretake or manage other people’s emotions”.
So what really is emotional maturity and how can we learn it?
- Emotional maturity is one of the most important, least discussed qualities we can aspire to have. And it is very much determined by our relationship with our caregivers and their nervous system state from the womb and throughout childhood.
- Emotional maturity gives us access to our true selves, it allows us to communicate with our partner, children, friends, and colleagues, and it helps us face the inevitable challenges that life has to offer in a fun, exciting way, rather than a way that leaves us further traumatized.
- Emotional maturity helps us step back when we are triggered and not allow triggers to ruin our lives – rather, we start to learn and grow from them. We stop taking things as personally, and let our hearts lead the way.
- Emotional maturity involves our ability to regulate our own emotions (calm ourselves down if we are really anxious or raging and get ourselves motivated if we are overwhelmed and frozen), to recognize when we are projecting them unto others, and to ask for emotional support from others, allowing them to hold space for us and knowing how to hold space for ourselves too.
- Remember that emotional maturity is a journey and a learned skill – you do not have to be born with this, and at the same time, you can practice to attain it. Practicing nervous system regulation skills, as well as emotional healing techniques is a gave changer for this! I teach both in this free training.
If our care givers were stressed, distracted, emotionally numb. frozen/overwhelmed or hyper alert – we likely did not receive the tools to become emotionally mature as adults.
Where are you at in your emotional maturity journey?
To find out more about how I can support you in your healing journey, send an email to email@example.com, visit my website for more information at www.marinayt.com and follow my Instagram for tips and learnings @marina.y.t